David Kessler, a death-and-grief specialist, explains that families control what happens to a loved one's body after death at home. You can negotiate timing with hospice and the funeral home to spend more time with the body, request viewings, or see it privately without a formal service.
Do you know who controls your loved one's body after they die? I'm David Kessler. I'm a death and grief specialist. Here's what I know. People often tell me in grief how they felt so rushed. They wish they had had more time with their loved one's body when they died or at the memorial. Not surprising that many people want to die at home and find that more personal. Most people dying at home are on hospice, which means they're under a doctor's care and it's an expected death. In those cases, when death occurs, the family calls the hospice, the doctor agrees to sign the death certificate, and the mortuary is called. The body is removed from the home. At the funeral home, if it's an open casket, the body would be presented there. Here's what most people don't know. They just react to these events, not knowing they're really in charge of them. When your loved one dies at home, you have more time than most people think to be with the body. You can coordinate the time you need with hospice and the mortuary. Ask for what you need. This is a sacred time. Don't let anyone rush you. Then when your loved one's at the funeral home, I know viewing the body is not for everyone, but if that's important to you, you can request to see them there. You don't have to wait for the viewing. You can even request to see them if there is no viewing. Don't be afraid to take the time you need. This is your last sacred time with them physically in this world.
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