Grief expert David Kessler debunks the myth that 90% of couples divorce after losing a child. A 2006 survey found only 16% of bereaved parents divorced, with just 4% citing the death as the cause. Research shows their divorce rate is under 20%, comparable to the general population.
Does the death of a child lead to divorce? Where's this come from? In the '70s, a parenting expert claimed that 90% of bereaved couples had marital difficulties. I would tell you that 90% of all couples have marital difficulties. But that's where the myth started. And we have long challenged this myth. In 2006, there was a large-scale survey that found only 16% of parents divorced after death, and of that 16%, only 4% said it was related to the death of their child. Another large study concluded that the number is somewhere less than 20%. Think about that. The actual divorce rate of bereaved parents hovers somewhere around 16%, which is actually lower than the general population. Not just as a grief expert, but as a bereaved parent myself, I can tell you distress is common. But distress is not the same as divorce. Many couples actually grow closer. Before we condemn a couple who's had a child loss to divorce, we might want to offer them connection and lots of support. Let me know your thoughts and follow for more information and support.
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